Bilberry 2015 Predictions


  1. X will Invade Y using Drone scooters for their Castrol reserves and it Will Cost LOADS of Trillions and end up being WORTHLESS.
  2. ISIS-ISIL-OSIS-ARSIL will upgrade corporate image with new flag showing the word “HOT SNATS” written in Arabic, but in Monkey’s Blood.
  3. Samsung bring out new 7G iphone copy which makes virtual 3-D printed cheese toasties with Google add-on Tumblr App.
  4. Hartlepool United relegated to The Snooker and turned into LIDL warehouses while Premiership is bought by Chinese Uranium Corp.
  5. Subpoena served for “Music Abuse” on Sir Cliff Richards by Guardia Civil on the roof of his pink unused Malaga tennis courts – twice.
  6. ANT and DEC merge reverse Siamese twin-wise to become prime time BBC 5 series: “I’m Dead, At Least I Do Not Have To Watch This Shite”.
  7. Deep seated reserves of frozen Cremola Foam found on Mars has Scientists at NASA “very excited” and buying new condos in San Diego.
  8. World record when every programme on a BBC channel is about cooking TASTY HOT SNACKS, or Celebrity IRONING from 18:00 to 24:00.
  9. Vlad “Butchski” Putin has photo-montage in Pravda showing him stroking pair of Siberian Tundra Bears with greased tank barrel – in SIXXY VYE-fronds baby-babski.
  10. George W. Bush found working in hardware store in Biloxi, calling himself “Barry McClean” with 4.5 Billion USD stashed in downtown garage.